


Hero For Hire?

by pendragonfics



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Carol Danvers, Drabble, Eggs, F/F, F/M, Pre-Relationship, Reader's gender is unspecified, Revenge, Short One Shot, Vandalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-21 14:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20695232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendragonfics/pseuds/pendragonfics
Summary: A far-fetched request online leads to consequences involving eggs.





	Hero For Hire?

**Author's Note:**

> Based loosely on a prompt I got from a requester on Tumblr, who was on anon x

It all began with a Twitter thread. Jessica Jones’ official account had put a callout for anyone needing a hook up with a hero for hire, and, as per gen z internet humour, it was made into a meme. Not that you’d want to piss off Miss Jones – she was a pretty badass hero. Unlike some people who were outright @’ing heroes for dates, or overused jokes, you joined in –

> _it would be boss if @officialcdanvers was free for softcore revenge on Friday_

In complete honesty, you had no clue why she answered. You’d think that an Avenger – wait, the _first _Avenger! – wouldn’t pay mind to your silly comment. Alas. Twitter once again liked celebrities with the lay people, and unfortunately for you, you had to go through with it: because she was at your place.

“Isn’t vandalism a little underneath Captain Marvel?” you plead to her, shoving your hands in your pockets.

She smirks, shaking her head. “Any punk who breaks a heart of a fan isn’t something I take lightly.”

“But egging?”

“It’s a classic,” she smirks, zipping up your rucksack. It’s branded, from the merch line that the whole Avengers team had. Because she was new to the team, there were less Carol Danvers memorabilia, but that didn’t stop you from splashing out on the few there were. “Besides, it’s better if I’m found doing this, rather than you, you know.”

“Because it’s vandalism,” you repeat. “…did I say you were badass?”

Carol beams.

* * *

By the time you make it to his place, it’s starting to get late. You live in the smaller suburbs of the city, but there’s still the tang of pollution that blocks the majority of stars from shining down on you. When the streetlights flicker to life, Carol hands you an egg, cradling two in her hands.

“You want to go first?” she asks.

“…wait a second,” you reply.

You look at the egg, and back at the property before you. You’d spent all of last summer making out on the porch, dancing over the scraggly lawn in the sprinklers, drawing on the driveway in chalk. You’d also ridden your bike over, and last week, you saw your ex pashing another person on the porch. A flare of anger takes over, and you hold the egg a little tighter.

“I’m ready,” you look to her.

She smirks, and points to the letterbox. “I’ll pay you real money if you hit that square on.”

You take a step back, and just like in shotput, you throw the egg. It’s not a shotput, and flies farther, smacking against the window beside the front door. You feel giddy, watching as it slides down the siding, comically slow. You take another egg from the box, and throw it again. It hits the driveway.

Carol aims, smacking the doorbell head on. She throws another, and by the time the door is opened, the egg after that hits the person answering in the shoulder.

It’s your ex.

“________?” He wipes off the egg, disgusted. “You petty -,”

“Do you really want to finish that sentence?” Carol buts in, holding another egg, poised to throw.

You throw the next one, and it hits the letterbox’s side, cracking over it. It sprays everywhere, and your ex watches in horror. You can’t believe you went through with this. You can’t believe that Carol Danvers, _the _Captain Marvel went along with this. You can’t believe that your ex isn’t lifting a finger against her, even with all that happened.

But then again, you can believe the feeling in your chest.

“Score!” she beams, “I owe you fifty bucks. And a signed autograph.”

“You won’t get away with this, ________,” your ex shouted. “I’ll tell everyone!”

Carol scoffs, tossing the egg in her hands up, catching it, and does this twice more. “Who’s going to believe you? That an Avenger egged your place after you cheated on your ex?”

“It’s not that big a deal, but you had to make it one!” He shouts, moving toward you and Carol on the street. “It’s not like it was the first time!”

You take the egg from Carol’s hands, and with near-perfect aim, it hits him below the belt. And you take off running down the street with your hero friend following suite.

* * *

The next time you see Carol Danvers, is after you get your degree. It’s a windy day, and the robes you rented for the day are pushed every which-way with the breeze. Your family congratulated you, and your ex and his friends stayed clear of you after you dismounted the stage. But from the back, you can see the woman with the fiery golden hair and bright eyes.

She gives you a wave, and you can’t help but go to her.

“Long time,” she greets, gathering you for a hug. “Did you get taller?”

“It’s the shoes,” you reply, feeling a little insecure. “Uh, thanks for, uh, the favour last year.”

She beams. “Speaking of favours, I might have to call one in with you.” She motions to the paper in your hands, “I’m here on behalf of the Avengers. It happens that we’re in need of a psychobiologist.”

“Funny that,” you bite at your lip. “…let me guess, you’re here to talk to me about -,”

“The Avengers Initiative?” She laughs. “Yeah. Wanna talk about it over coffee?”

“Hell yeah.” 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr on as @chaotic--lovely, and if you want to request a fic, check out [@pendragonfics](https://pendragonfics.tumblr.com/request_conditions)! ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ✿


End file.
